Monday, August 29, 2011

Monologue #2 "How I became a deejay that night on XTC"

Age: 22

So I went to LSU for like one semester. I don't think I went to one of my classes... not one. I wasn't cut out for college. I was way too immature, and all I wanted to do was get wasted and chase girls. Well, I was fresh out of rehab because my mom caught me selling drugs. I told her that I had a drug problem and I was doing it to support my drug habit which was bullshit and a BIG MISTAKE. So after rehab, she moved me out to Baton rouge, enrolled me in LSU and had me live with my cousin Mark who was prone to going on long trips... AWESOME.

At that point I had become a fervent music collector. I had a handful of records and and overstuffed 100 CD wallet full of all different genres of music.

I used to go buy music every week at Paradise Records with my check from my awesome catering job. Those guys had a great music selection and a pretty decent vinyl section. I would pick up a few select albums and/or pieces of vinyl every week.

Well one night I was partying at a small electronic music club impressing the female patrons with my B-Boy moves until I saw this girl. her name was Angela, and she used to date my homeboy Jeremy years prior. I always thought she was hot and I saw this as my opportunity to finally hook up with her.

She ended up knowing someone who had some "good" XTC pills, and she wanted to know if I wanted to get some. She also wanted to know if I had a place to go and get cozy. I just got paid so I had a pocket full of cash. My cousin Mark was out of town, and I had the house to myself. Check and check.

Somehow using her powers of female eternal hotness, she convinced me to buy her XTC so we could roll together. I bought four (4) two for me and two for her for a grand total of $100. It was a mere drop in the bucket for me a reckless college student with an awesome low-responsibility job. In hindsight, I had NO IDEA what I was in for.

We pop the pills on the ride home and I remember her telling me to chew them up so they would hit me quicker. The taste was absolutely awful... just terrible. I to a swig of my water to try to kill the taste. That wasn't happening.

We get back to my house and I immediately rush to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Proper oral hygiene is important, especially after you've eaten a Schedule I narcotic or if you're chilling with a lady.

I step outside the bathroom and I start to get the rubber legs. So I labor into my bedroom and plop down on my waterbed (I was a classy dude). Angela was already on the bed so I put on some reggae and went to get us some water. On the way back to the bedroom I started to hallucinate. I had never hallucinated on XTC before so I asked her what was up.

"These are MDA pills. You'll hallucinate. There's no speed in them to counteract the hallucinations. All the sexy, none of the speed." were I believe her exact words.


We then started to talk and rub on each other as the drug started to take a hold of us. Eventually we quit talking, got lost in the music and just began to writhe around on the bed breathing in each other breath. It was pretty hot in a spiritual drug-induced sort of way.

We were doing OK until, I started to feel queasy. I had always heard that really good X will make your seratonin levels rise until they overload and then you will vomit and feel AMAZING. I had never experienced this phenomenon, but I was pretty sure I was about to experience it for the first time. There was a weird mix of fear and anticipation as I rolled out of the bed on a direct trip to the bathroom. I got two or three steps outside of the bedroom before the projectile vomiting started. I finished and quickly grabbed a towel to clean it all up. It never felt more amazing cleaning up puke ever before or since.

After I re-brushed my teeth, I jumped back into bed and she and I got lost in a long sexy embrace as I put Dj Krush's "Meiso" album on repeat. Be became one body. There were no words being exchanges except for "Oh GOD!!" and low audible moans. It was pretty fantastic. This continued for a long time, very long in fact. I switched CDs three or four more times to continue to set the mood. We continued this until daylight when the effects of the drug were beginning to wane. I mustered up the courage to drive her home because I had a catering job at 10am.

When I got back from dropping her off, I set my alarm for 9:30am so I could be at work on time. I changed into my work clothes, watched the clock and pretended to rest until my alarm sounded. Luckily I felt normal enough to think I could go to work. I headed out the door with my CD case and headed to work. I get about half-way to the job before I realize that I left my CD case on the top of the car when I left for work. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!
That morning (Saturday) was an LSU home game so there was no hope. I just lost $1000s of dollars of music due to one night of drug fueled passion.

While at work I made the conscious decision that I would only buy vinyl from now on. I would never leave my vinyl on the roof of the car. Vinyl would stay at home and become tapes as I would just tape my records for listening in the car. It seemed like a workable plan. That decision directly contributed to my decision to dedicate my life to being a DJ.

When I got home from work, I tried calling Angela to see if she wanted to hang out again. She gave me the wrong number... figures.

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